Dialogue/Eternal Winter's Ark Sub Story: The Bunny Expert

Translated by Khosen

The Bunny Expert

Part 1.

Gnome:

*Pant...* *Pant...*

Efreeti:

I know you tried your best...but it seems like this is your limit.

It's okay...

Gnome:

...No, that's not true!

I can do this all day!

So, Sergeant Efreeti, let's continue with the training.

The training that'll make me a true bunny!

Leprechaun:

We're clear here...

Brownie, how about you?

Brownie:

I've finished checking here too, ma'am! But nothing particular comes to my attention.

Have you found anything, Corporal Leprechaun?

Leprechaun:

Just a few canned foods and some timber.

I'm surprised, though. Even in a place like this, we still see some traces of humans before our time.

Brownie:

I liked how we found a lot of food from the first basecamp we found...

But ever since, all we could find are miscellaneous things.

Leprechaun:

Once we head towards inner Europe, gathering supplies would be even more difficult.

This is probably our last expedition where we don't have to worry about getting a bullet through our head, so let's keep going.

Silky:

Any luck, everyone?

Brownie:

Corporal Silky!

Leprechaun:

Nothing much, just a few canned foods and some timber.

How about you, Corporal Silky?

Silky:

Same here. We didn't find anything significant.

I think we should expand our search parameter further...

Brownie:

Oh?!

Leprechaun:

Brownie, did you find something?

Silky:

What is it?

Brownie:

Isn't this bunny ears? They're super cute!

Silky:

...

Leprechaun:

Brownie...

Brownie:

I heard men before they went extinct loved this. I didn't expect to find it here!

We don't have the proper clothing to go with it, but shouldn't us wearing the ears still be effective?

Leprechaun:

The bunny ears...? Are you sure...

Silky:

...No, Brownie has a point.

Leprechaun:

Yes? R, really?

Silky:

As I moved the supplies to the 'Ark of Memories,' I overheard a conversation.

According to the information someone found in the information sector, a bunny girl outfit was an effective tool to seduce the opposite sex before humans faced extinction.

Some of the other crew are already making one themselves or searching for one.

Leprechaun:

Is that true?

Brownie:

I swear it is, Corporal Leprechaun!

I know we can't show it to the Commander because we're on a mission, but wouldn't it be fine just to try it out and how we look?

Why don't you give it a go, ma'am!

Part 2.

Gnome:

I didn't know there were this many supplies buried under the snow...

I would have missed it if I hadn't been thorough.

I should call others for help...and make sure to search thoroughly from now on, hmm?

There they are.

Leprechaun:

Corporal Silky, you look super cute...!

Silky:

Ehehe...do I.

I, I think that's enough for me. Brownie, would you like to try it on?

Brownie:

Finally, my turn!

Tada, how do I look? Am I prettier than usual?

Silky:

You look just like a Brownie, Brownie. I like it.

Leprechaun:

Yeah, just like a Brownie.

Brownie:

Why am I getting a weird response?!

Gnome:

Everyone!

There you were. What are you all up to?

Brownie:

Ah, Sergeant Gnome!

Leprechaun:

On your back...wow, Sergeant! Where did you find all those supplies?

Gnome:

I dug them up that were buried under the snow.

I came here to ask for help as there're still more back there...

What's that on your hand, bunny ears...?

Brownie:

Ah...!

Leprechaun:

This is uh, we...weren't fooling around...

We were searching for supplies...uh...we're sorry, Sergeant.

Gnome:

It's okay. I'm sure you all were making small talks.

You don't have to apologize for things like that. We're all family.

Brownie:

Then would you like to wear one too, Sergeant Gnome?

Leprechaun:

Brownie, you're stepping over the line! Again...!

Brownie:

B, but it's bunny ears.

I'm sure Sergeant Gnome will be interested if she finds out the efficacy of a bunny girl outfit!

Gnome:

Its efficacy?

What would it be...

I see...so that's what it was...

Brownie:

I heard it was also used during a special occasion when humans tried to create a family!

Gnome:

...Family?

Leprechaun:

It was used for such purposes too...?

Corporal Silky, is Brownie telling the truth?

Silky:

I haven't heard anything about that...but I don't think she's lying.

I know she must have heard it from someone else, but I'm not sure...

Gnome:

A, and by creating a family...

A, all we have is the Commander...so...

Brownie:

Enough said! It's exactly like what you're thinking right now, ma'am!

Here, here! Give it a try!

Silky:

I've been thinking about this for a long time, but I believe Sergeant Gnome is so weak against the word 'family.'

Leprechaun:

To her, it holds her a special meaning. And she'd get hurt from time to time protecting us as a result...

But I suppose it's one of the things I like about Sergeant Gnome.

Don't you agree, Corporal Silky?

Silky:

I do. However...

I feel like one day...something unstoppable might happen...

Gnome:

I, I suppose I can give it a try...

Efreeti:

What are you all doing...

Is that...

A bunny...?

Brownie:

Ah, Sergeant Efreeti! You're here too?

Speaking of, aren't you a big fan of bunnies, Sergeant Efreeti?

I heard the bunny girl outfit is the new trend amongst other crew. Apparently, it's super effective against men!

Gnome:

The others found this during their expedition.

What do you say? Would you like to try one too, Sergeant Efreeti...

Efreeti:

...Ny.

Gnome:

...Yes?

Efreeti:

This is not a bunny!

Brownie:

S, Sergeant..Efreeti?

Gnome:

Sergeant..?

Efreeti:

You're all acting like you are a bunny just by wearing bunny ears...!

You guys have no clue how many times a bunny appeared in folklores since ancient times...You all have no clue why humans loved bunnies so much before our time. Their powerfulness and cuteness and the perfection of the two caught everyone's attention...!

I didn't expect my fellow soldiers to complement each other for looking like a bunny just by wearing a lousy headband...!

Gnome:

S, Sergeant..

Efreeti:

Do you all even know how great bunnies are...? Why they're so amazing...?

You guys have no clue what kind of an animal bunny is... and yet, you all claim its name because it's cute and pretty to use it as a fashion item...!

You all are making a grave mistake to think that bunnies are weak preys...! They know how to use their teeth and use their legs to fight for their lives when they're protecting their most precious...

Especially when they're protecting their 'family'...!

Gnome:

Family...!

Efreeti:

*Pant...* *Pant...*

...Nevermind.

Take it off...let's wrap it all up and go back.

Leprechaun:

I, I've never seen Sergeant Efreeti raising her voice like that.

Silky:

Ah...I forgot about it.

We were wearing bunny ears in front of someone who loves bunnies the most.

Leprechaun:

Doesn't Sergeant Efreeti wears one, too, though?

Silky:

I saw how she'd spend months calculating and fixing her ears to get the perfect angle, thickness, and texture.

That shows how special a bunny is to her.

Gnome:

...One moment. Wait up, please, Sergeant!

I owe you an apology. I didn't know what kind of an animal a bunny was...I was shallow to want to be a bunny girl just because I wanted to start a family with the Commander.

If I wanted to become a true bunny girl...no, a bunny, I need your help, Sergeant.

Efreeti:

...I've seen countless others who said precisely the same thing.

Brownie:

You did, ma'am?

Leprechaun:

I haven't seen any.

Silky:

Same here.

Efreeti:

And how many do you think became a true bunny...? None...

So why do you think a girl like you, who doesn't even want to become a bunny for the right purpose -

Gnome:

I admit that I have ulterior motives. But!

My eagerness to become a true bunny, now my will is much more sincere than anyone you've met!

Efreeti:

...

Gnome:

So I beg you, Sergeant

Teach me.

Efreeti:

...Hmm.

It'll be a tough road ahead of you...

Gnome:

I don't mind.

Efreeti:

You'd get the urge to run from it.

Gnome:

I'll overcome it.

Efreeti:

And are you willing to overcome whatever ordeal and hardship you'll be facing...?

Gnome:

It wouldn't be a challenge if I didn't face any.

Efreeti:

...Hmpf.

Alright...I shall see.

Until how long you'll last.

Gnome:

My will is unbreakable.

Until I become a true bunny!

Brownie:

...It's time for our supper. Should I go and let them know?

Leprechaun:

Why don't we hide the bunny ears first.

Silky:

I hope they don't get into trouble...

Part 3.

Efreeti:

Faster...more agile...

Gnome:

*Pant...* Yes!

Efreeti:

You're not as loud when you're running...it's proof that you're not breathing correctly...

I think you need to train your physique...

Gnome:

...Yes, Sergeant!

Efreeti:

Hmm...?

At ease...

Gnome:

Ah, yes!

Efreeti:

5 meters to your left...the pile of snow...you see it...?

Go dig, now...

Gnome:

You think there's a supply underneath...? No...!

H, how did you know?

Efreeti:

The reason bunnies did not go extinct was that they developed hyper intuition to look around the surrounding...

Stay alert...embrace your surroundings...

Use every sense of yours to analyze what's around you...okay...

Gnome:

...Yes!

Efreeti:

You're losing your balance...

Stop shaking...endure it...

Gnome:

Urgh...I'm trying my best...!

Efreeti:

Don't spit out that you've tried your best that lightly.

If someone's really trying their best...they'd endure no matter the circumstances.

Gnome:

...!

Efreeti:

You wanted to become a true bunny...

And is that the best you can do?

Gnome:

...No.

To become a true family with the Commander...to become a true bunny...!

I! Can do more...!

Efreeti:

...Hmpf.

Good...then, get ready for another bunny hop...

Silky:

Uhm, Sergeants...

It's time for dinner. Command Sergeant Major Impet would like us to come back.

Why don't we all call it a day?

Efreeti:

...Time flies, huh.

Gnome.

Gnome:

...Yes, Sergeant!

Efreeti:

That's enough training for today...go rest.

Gnome:

...No.

I can tell I'm way behind. It'll take me years to become a true bunny at this rate.

So, Sergeant Efreeti. If I may ask, would you train me during our personal time too?

I beg you!

Efreeti:

You'd get burnt out, are you sure...?

Gnome:

I know what I signed up for.

Efreeti:

...Not bad.

Good, let's continue after dinner...and Corporal Silky.

Silky:

Yes, ma'am?

Efreeti:

What's the menu...?

Silky:

It's the same menu, the one you called an abomination.

Efreeti:

...

Sergeant Gnome...

Gnome:

Yes, ma'am?

Efreeti:

You wanted to receive this training to become a true family, right...?

Gnome:

Ah, yes! I do. I'm nothing more than one soldier out of so many others, but if I can start a family with the Commander...

Efreeti:

Then...

Are you interested in taking an extra class...?

...Huh?

I swear I was in...Orca...

Where am I...

??:

...eant! Sergeant!

Gnome:

Sergeant Efreeti, are you alright?!

Efreeti:

Gnome...?

Why...? What's wrong...

Gnome:

What do you mean...

You tried one of the parfaits I made for you and then lost consciousness. Are you okay?

Efreeti:

Parfait...?

Gnome:

Corporal Silky, did you check the expiry date for the ingredients? Sergeant Efreeti doesn't look that well.

Silky:

It should be fine. When I did a complete stock check a few days ago, everything was fine...?

Let me taste it to double-check.

Efreeti:

No! It's fine. The parfait wasn't the problem. I'll handle the last.

Ahem...well...

Not bad...

Silky:

Oh...? Sergeant...

Gnome:

Are you crying...?

Part 4.

Efreeti:

I can still see your legs. Move faster...

Again, from the beginning...

Gnome:

*Pant...* *Pant...*

Yes!

Efreeti:

47 meters northeast, then 38 meters west...

I see supplies...Gnome. I'm sure you can tell you're losing your focus.

Gnome:

I'm still not noticing it...

I'll focus!

Efreeti:

Gnome, another parfait...!

Gnome:

Yes, here there you go!

Efreeti:

Mmm...

It's so good...

...Huh?

Gnome:

Sergeant! You lost consciousness again, are you alright?

Efreeti:

Well...

Your parfait was okay...

Gnome:

Sergeant, you're crying again...

Silky:

Uhm, Sergeants...how is this related to becoming a bunny?

And you're using too many ingredients...the statement doesn't match the actual supply...Hnnng...

What do I do during the next round of stock investigation...

Efreeti:

No, that's not it...! Your hands are still awkward...

Focus...focus your full attention towards the tip of your fingers and toes...

Gnome:

*Pant...* *Pant...*

W, will...

Ah...!

Efreeti:

...I won't tell you to get up.

I know the past few days...you were asking me to train you until it was time for us to sleep...

I know you must be exhausted...

Gnome:

No, I can still go for more...!

Kurgh...!

Efreeti:

...It looks like your body disagrees.

Trust me, I know how it feels... When you want more but can't go for more...

Gnome:

*Pant...* *Pant...*

Efreeti:

I know you tried your best...but it looks like this is your limit...

It's okay to...

Gnome:

...No, that's not true!

I can push further!

So let's continue, Sergeant Efreeti.

The training for me to become a true bunny!

Efreeti:

You say that, but your legs are shaking...?

Gnome:

It's okay, I'm fine...!

Efreeti:

But wouldn't it be so much easier if you give up and just lie down in bed?

Gnome:

I mentioned in the beginning...

I may want to become a bunny for a different reason...but that doesn't mean I'm any less sincere than anyone else!

Efreeti:

We still haven't begun the real training...it's going to get worse, you sure you'll be able to handle the challenge...?

Gnome:

I do not know how to give up...

Not until I become a true family...a true bunny...!

I'm ready to head towards infinity and beyond!

Efreeti:

...

Good, Gnome...let's continue...

I know you won't... but unless you tap out...

I will stick by your side...and help you...

Gnome:

Sergeant...!

Efreeti:

From the beginning then...

Gnome:

Yes...!

From the beginning this time, I'll try my best!

Brownie:

It's about to turn off the lights. Should I go tell them that we should get back?

Leprechaun:

Not now...in a few minutes.

Silky:

I just want all this to be over...

Part 5.

Efreeti:

...You ready?

Gnome:

Yes, Sergeant. I am.

After finishing all the training, the bunny and I are one...

I am the ultimate bunny!

Efreeti:

Good...well, let's test you out...

Bunnyhop, go!

Gnome:

Yes!

Efreeti:

Hmm...

Wait, stop! You just passed it...!

Gnome:

I noticed rations, and I see more supplies 100 meters in front of me buried under the snow!

Efreeti:

Hmm...

Next!

Gnome:

Here's your parfait!

I changed my recipe. It's sweeter! More flavourful!

Efreeti:

...What? ...It's even better?

I, I'll save this for later...And now, your final test...

You ready...?

Gnome:

Yes, Sergeant...let's begin.

My final test!

Efreeti:

Good...well, here it comes...

...

...Bang!

Gnome:

Urgh...!

Ah...

Efreeti:

...

Your ability to play dead was perfect...I admit Gnome.

You are now a perfect bunny itself...congratulations, good work...

Gnome:

Sergeant Efreeti...!

Efreeti:

Here, take this...

Gnome:

Oh, this is...

Isn't this a bunny girl outfit? Sergeant, where did you...

Efreeti:

Try it on...

Gnome:

It fits perfectly...

But Sergeant Efreeti, when did you...?

Efreeti:

...From the moment you first asked me to train you.

I had this feeling that you would have made it this far...so I cut my sleep too...

And you proved that I was right all along...

Gnome:

Sergeant...!

But I haven't done anything for you...and yet you did all this for me...!

Efreeti:

If a student wants to repay their teacher, the only way is to become great...

Gnome...you were the best student a teacher could ask for in that sense.

Gnome:

No, if it wasn't your guidance, Sergeant...

I...*sob,* would not have become a true bunny...

Efreeti:

You reap what you sow...

See, some things are just bound to happen...judging by your strong will, you would have become a bunny with or without my help. All I did was just fast forward the whole process...

Now, rise...and go...create a true family...

Gnome:

*Sob...!* Thank you...

Thank you for everything! Sergeant Efreeti!

I will return!

Efreeti:

Go...!

You belong in the big league...don't ever return back here...

Promise me that you'll create a family...give birth to kids that are as cute as bunnies...become the happiest person in this world...!

So that you'll be rewarded for the hard work...understood, Sergeant Gnome...?

Gnome:

...From time to time.

From time to time, I'll come back to make parfaits for you. Thank you, Sergeant Efreeti...

Efreeti:

You couldn't have just left...what a fool...

...Gosh, it's always hard when I sent them out into the world.

Take care, Sergeant Gnome.

Brownie:

...Is becoming a bunny girl this difficult usually?

I saw how others would just wear one without going through all this hassle...

Silky:

I mean, it's a happy ending for them both.

All I have left is somehow getting supplies to fill up so that the statement is the same as the actual number of supplies...Phew...I'm glad this is all over...

Leprechaun:

I also don't understand what just happened...but I'm glad it's over.

Should we get going too?

Impet:

*Sob...* these guys, going behind us like that and secretively training...no wonder why they were all so tired during combat training.

I should call for a military disciplinary committee, but...

I guess I can just pretend as if nothing happened.

And by the way...

Efreeti...she's a perfect candidate to become a non-commissioned officer.

Maybe I should get her thumbprint while she's asleep.

END.